rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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