So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
