I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize