You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
