please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
