i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
