remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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