Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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