im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
