i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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