yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
