somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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