she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
