Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
