wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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