A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I smell stomach acid.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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