I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
