I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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