dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
