Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The uberlube is also flammable
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
