i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
