so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize