Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
