I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
