You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
