Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
