Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
im on a boat
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