Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
