redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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