Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
