I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
