If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
