I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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