I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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