ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
