y did u give ur computer a hand job?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
