she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
