Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just cropdusted the office
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
