She said her name was "party"
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
