Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize