bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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