this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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