You just made me feel so damn special
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
