I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
