it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
