is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
