I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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