paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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