So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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