dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
