i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
