You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Randomize
