Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
