Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
