reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
