Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
