It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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