I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
