Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
