Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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