guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I need help removing her.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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