BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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