I am puke
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
