Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
