so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
