She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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