He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There r osticjed everywhere
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
