you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wish you could order shots online.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
