So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Damn victory sex feels great
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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